Harry Potter

So the 2nd part of the last Harry Potter movie is coming out tonight and a ton of people are excited about it.  In fact, I have already seen at least a dozen Facebook statuses telling how stoked people are to wait in line, dressed up in their Harry Potter-best, dying to get in to see the movie.  It all sounds so RIVETING!

But here's the problem: it's a movie.  Here's another problem: anyone waiting in line for this movie has most likely already read the book series.  So . . . what's the big deal?  You already know what's going to happen.  You already know that Harry dies, comes back to life (somehow) and then everyone lives happily ever after without "you-know-who".  (Side note: I still think it's stupid how everyone is so scared to say Voldemort.  It's just a name . . .)  So why are we all in such a hurry to stay up until 3 AM and watch what we already know is going to happen?  And then, after it's over, everyone will complain about something that the filmmakers left out, or something that wasn't exactly how it is in the book.  And after that, everyone will go see it again anyway.  And still say that it's the greatest movie ever made.  It's a fact of life.  For some odd reason.

And before you call me an ignorant hater, let me just point out that I have read the first book (and have no desire to read the rest no matter how good you tell me they are) and have seen the first 5 movies.  So I know that I don't like it.  Harry and Ron remind me of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street.  They are always together, they're best friends, one is tall and the other is not-as-tall, and no one really knows whether or not they are actually gay.  That's just one thing that I can't stand about it.

Then there is the teenage angst.  It's everywhere.  It's like a bad episode of The Young and the Restless.  A bit redundant, but still true.  Ron has a secret crush on Hermione (and Harry), who secretly likes Harry, but Harry likes the Asian girl (who had to hear about her sparkling boyfriend dying), who just wants Harry because he's Harry.  And then apparently Dumbledore IS gay, Snape is on crack and Malfoy is and always will be Harry's nemesis because he has an inferiority complex.  Ta daaaa.

Maybe some of you go for the social experience.  But I have to ask you, are these people worth being social with?  Something is telling me that it's not.  Just a hunch.  It's like if a group of dudes went together to see the Justin Bieber movie . . .

*beep beep beep* Oh, excuse me.  That was my gaydar going off.

Anyway.  But what could POSSIBLY be better than Harry Potter, you ask?  Let me think: Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Tron, Kelly's Heroes, Dodgeball, Star Trek, Sherlock Holmes, the Bourne series, Inception, Batman Begins/the Dark Knight, Angels in the Outfield, The A-team, Iron Man, Princess and the Frog, Indiana Jones . . .


. . . . . . . . and there's this series of movies called The Lord of the Rings.  I don't know if you've ever heard of that.

I could entertain myself for hours watching Youtube videos and other movies on Netflix.  So I'll save my $10 and spend it on something worthwhile.  You can enjoy the letdown of sitting in the back row of a midnight showing of a silly children's book series.